Gay family

I watched some videos in youtube about gay family, how they live with their children, and how they run their life as gay parents. I encountered a youtube user depfox (probably owned by the couple). I am touched by their videos.

They adopted a baby girl and a 5 year-old boy, named Daniel, who has a medical condition cause by his biological mom's alcohol consumption during pregnancy. His mother was negligence and obviously alcoholic. The mother alcohol problem caused the poor little boy to have a condition of which the left side of his body is underdeveloped. So, the left side of his face was not normally formed. He has difficulties in uttering words perfectly, he has one leg shorter than the other, and he also has lots more of other medical conditions and actually had several surgeries. It has been few years now, and i can the boy is doing very well, living in a perfectly healthy, happy family.

But still, there are some people, who were mindless enough to say that gay couples should not adopt kids. They said that kids deserve to be with a mom and a dad, living in a happy family. But we have to know that we are not living in a perfect world where every kids have a loving mom and dad. We are not living in a fairy tales ( even in fairy tales there are abusive father and mother). There are lots of kids out there, abandoned, neglected or abused by their own biological parents. Just two days ago in the newspaper there was a man physically abused his child. I feel terrible for these kids and i want each and every one of them to live in a loving environment like what this gay couple gave to Daniel. I am happy that Daniel doesn't have live with his negligence, alcoholic biological mother. I am hoping the unfortunate kids out there, with or without parents, can have a happy life Daniel is having.

To the homophobic people out there that saying gay couple should not adopt children because of the lack of fatherly or motherly figure in the family and any other ridiculous reason: in Daniel's case, the gay couples are actually mending the harms caused by heterosexuals. The gay couple is giving the unfortunate kids a chance to be fortunate and live the life they deserve. My dad, he never had the chance. his mother hated him and his father neglected him before they finally divorced. He stayed with his grandmother (who was also negligence) for a while before living alone in a boarding school for his entire school life. Where is your loving heterosexual parents? Where is your fairy tale world? What kids deserve is not a mother and a father, but to be loved. It does't matter if it's mom and dad, dad and dad or mom and mom. Love is love.

Today, after seeing the child abuse news in the tv, my mom said that she would treat her grandchildren equally. Then i asked "even the adopted grandchildren?". To my delight, she smiled, and said "yes, even the adopted grandchildren".

The great and the famous

Alexander the Great, Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo, Socrates, Julius and Augustus Cesar, and Aristotle.

What do these people have in common?

They were gay.
Yes. You heard that right.

The Dilemma

Yes, i am attracted to guys. but no one should forget that gays's genital have the same functionality and structural attributes as the straights' that enable it to perform accordingly (omg what am i saying). simply put, what i am saying is that, although i am gay i can still be able to get married to a girl and have children of my own. frictions induce blood flow to the area so it would not be a prob... oh wait, i think i should stop right here.. so anyway, this, gives me a huge dilemma.

having my own children has always been my dream. i have already thought of different names i would give to my children. I want to be the greatest dad in the world and make my children the happiest children in the world. this dream, has received a huge blow ever since i figured out that i have no interest in women.

it frustrates me a great deal seeing happy straight couple in fb. some are married and have cute children.  it hurts me every time. then i start questioning myself why can't i like girls the way straight guys do.  i see girls as friend, awesome companions. in fact, all my best friends are girls... except one.  i dont hate girls just that i am not sexually and emotionally attached to them. it's definitely not the same like attaching a file in an email, so, i can't just attach myself to them, and tada, i am straight, married to a woman and have kids of my own.

will it be fair for the girl if i say "girl, i am not interested in your body. i am interested in what your body can provide me (this case, babies)", "i am marrying you but i dont love you, i love a guy", "i need your womb, not you nor your vagina". i suppose i can do that, but it also implies that if this is what the society want me to do (ignore my sexuality and live a life of a straight), then they are suggesting me to say those thing to a girl (of which i dont fancy doing).

this is why sexuality and sexual conduct is two different thing. i can be gay and have sex with a girl. i certainly can do that but the question is whether i really want to, whether it is really the right thing to do.

so what's the best to counter the conflict between sexuality and sexual conduct?

The Ugly Side

I seriously have no idea why people are taking others' sexuality so personally and seriously. Your sexuality only defines who you are sexually and emotionally attracted to. people have to be very clear about the difference between sexuality, and sexual behavior, or maybe between gay and sex maniac.  although being gay is harmless, there are some ugly side of being a gay.

The word gay is being tainted by some sex maniacs looking for one night stand, quickie, or 'fun' as they say it. i have seen a lot of phone numbers written on the wall of public restroom, accompanied by some advert statements such as "looking for top/bottom to have fun", "gay bottom here. free of charge". "gay massage" or anything likewise. This disgusts me probably the same way as it disgusts the straight guys.  let me put this clearly. i like guys. but it doesn't mean i should have sex with every guys, or with tonnes of random guys for 'fun'. this gives the idea that gay people are all sex craving creatures who just love having sex because there's no chance for them to get pregnant or whatsoever. i understand that a lot of gays love to do this. i even got some 'sex requests' from a lot of random guys, especially if they have seen the real picture of me. but count me out.

Look, regardless of your sexuality, random sex and having lots of partner can't be good. lets think about it, if a heterosexual girl goes around looking for dicks just for the fun of it, we definitely say she's a whore and whatnot and regarded as a disgrace to the society (basically we are saying it's wrong). well, same applies to the gays as well. it's not ok to do that. but you know, the sad thing is, the gay sex-maniacs are being generalized to the whole gay population. so, basically how the society sees thing now is that if you are gay, then you are 100% categorized as a sex maniac looking for dicks.