The Dilemma

Yes, i am attracted to guys. but no one should forget that gays's genital have the same functionality and structural attributes as the straights' that enable it to perform accordingly (omg what am i saying). simply put, what i am saying is that, although i am gay i can still be able to get married to a girl and have children of my own. frictions induce blood flow to the area so it would not be a prob... oh wait, i think i should stop right here.. so anyway, this, gives me a huge dilemma.

having my own children has always been my dream. i have already thought of different names i would give to my children. I want to be the greatest dad in the world and make my children the happiest children in the world. this dream, has received a huge blow ever since i figured out that i have no interest in women.

it frustrates me a great deal seeing happy straight couple in fb. some are married and have cute children.  it hurts me every time. then i start questioning myself why can't i like girls the way straight guys do.  i see girls as friend, awesome companions. in fact, all my best friends are girls... except one.  i dont hate girls just that i am not sexually and emotionally attached to them. it's definitely not the same like attaching a file in an email, so, i can't just attach myself to them, and tada, i am straight, married to a woman and have kids of my own.

will it be fair for the girl if i say "girl, i am not interested in your body. i am interested in what your body can provide me (this case, babies)", "i am marrying you but i dont love you, i love a guy", "i need your womb, not you nor your vagina". i suppose i can do that, but it also implies that if this is what the society want me to do (ignore my sexuality and live a life of a straight), then they are suggesting me to say those thing to a girl (of which i dont fancy doing).

this is why sexuality and sexual conduct is two different thing. i can be gay and have sex with a girl. i certainly can do that but the question is whether i really want to, whether it is really the right thing to do.

so what's the best to counter the conflict between sexuality and sexual conduct?