I am the second child in the family. I have 3 brothers of uniquely distinctive personality (and appearance). i don't even think we resemble each other... in terms of look and personality.
My elder brother is 3 years older than me. He is a model professional, with a successful career. He is one of the leaders in the church, so yeah, he is a very religious one. my other bro (next after me) has a very mysterious and timid nature. he doesn't talk much. in your class during your school year, there was always a guy who sits at the corner, someone who barely talk. well, he's that guy. My younger brother is rather out going and carefree but despite the overly carefree nature, he is a loving boy. he is 10 years younger than me.
I first accidentally came out to my two younger brothers. it wasn't my intention. well, apparently my younger brother secretly opened and explored my laptop. well, as natural tendency speaks, a guy has his own collection of, you know, boy stuffs. i know what you are thinking right now but that's not it. it's basically a gay themed anime- that is- boy to boy love with no explicit content or whatsoever. so anyway, he found that out. he correctly guessed my laptop password, which was very easy to guess- my first name. my goodness, i didn't know how to react- angry at him because he log on to my computer without asking for permission, running away, or what? anyway, i acted cool. he was like "Eeee.. You Gay! Go away! Go!!" i was denying and all trying to be funny at the same time, as if it was some kind of joke.
We were quite cool after that, although he sometimes called me gay and stuffs. that aside, we get along like usual.
Well, about my older brother. it was a slightly long story. earlier on that day my mom was talking about having daughter in laws and asked if we (me and my elder bro) have a girlfriend. I told her my elder bro probably has and i told her i would probably never get married. she laughed real hard hearing that- that i said i don't want to get married. i was definitely sure that she had no idea what i was trying to tell her, but never mind. i had no idea what was on her mind. what i am certain about is she has no idea at all about me. she has keen eyes but at the same time, clueless mind.
Later on the same day i texted my brother via iMessage (decided not to use facetime this time like we always did) about how my mom was curious about his girlfriend. the conversation dragged on with all the teasing.. so i told him that i would probably never get married, he asked me why. That moment i decided that i want to tell him and i am ready to do that. eventually i told him that i like boys.
Like any religious person would react, he doesn't like the idea and think it is a sin. he basically asking me to change. He said maybe it's temporary and all and i should not be...what i am. i was not surprised by his reaction. i know him well enough to predict what he wanted to say. then i was bombarded with tonnes of typical questions- like since when i noticed and he said i liked girls before. i told him i knew since the beginning of time and it gets clearer when i entered puberty, and now i am 23. I said that all the stories i told him about the girls are all stories to cover myself up, and i never interested in them. I was a writer and i have some experiences to create stories and make them sound real. *duh*.
He even suggested me to consult a psychiatrist to change me- which i think the idea is cute and funny at the same time. if only he knows that psychological associations all around the world agreed that homosexuality is not a mental disorder or illness and that attempts to change one's orientation cause serious harm. he eventually gave up trying to get me to a psychologist or psychiatrist. he talked using his trademark formal sounded voice and acted as if he knows anything about psychology (he is an audiologist, i am the one who actually studied psychology.. *cough*).
He then proceed with asking about my future plan- of whether i want to stay single or get myself a partner. I don't like this question, because it sounded like only heterosexuals deserve to be happily living together with loved one. but I made it clear to him that i don't have a boyfriend at the moment and never actually had one.
He talked about God for quite a long time until it was very late and eventually he told me he wanted to get some rest. so, that was the end of our long conversation. until now, after that incident, we never talked. it definitely sound awkward now if we talk, but i guess the awkwardness will subsided somehow, someday, maybe.
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